Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

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Expand view Topic review: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

by Catweazle » Sun Sep 25, 2011 2:21 pm

Megablastic- I say the same things to our local scrotes- and get similar brainless responses from them.


A typical scenario-


Me- Why are you hanging around here?

Scrote- We ain't got nuffink else to do, innit bruv?

Me- So why don't you go and do something else?

Scrote- Nah, I said I ain't got nuffink to do, known what I mean, innit?

Me- Don't you know what a double negative is?

Scrote- Eh?

Me- A double negative.

Scrote- Dunno, innit.


The most difficult part of these scenarios is holding back a laugh :slsp:

Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

by megablastic » Thu Sep 22, 2011 10:14 pm

Scroat: Your just Plastic Police

Me: Takes one to deal with a Plastic Gangsta'



The best one though are the double negatives

Scroat: I 'aint done nuffin'

Me: So you admitt you've done ....something?

Scroat: You fick or something I said I aint done nuffine duh!!!

Me: Go to school fool and look up double negatives.


Most still don't get the double negative thing.

Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

by PCSO_Hero » Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:31 am

Scroaty person in fromt of mates: You lot are like flies around here

PCSO: Yeah, always around s**t

:sltgu:

Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

by Acorn » Mon Sep 19, 2011 6:05 pm

Arthur ASCII wrote:Speaking to lippy yoofs I sometimes point to my medal ribbon and tell them:

"I was in Baghdad when you were in Dad's bag".

Usually shuts 'em up. :slww:
That's hilarious, even if the post was almost a year ago :slgg:

Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

by PI & GI » Sat Aug 27, 2011 4:25 pm

Arthur ASCII wrote:Speaking to lippy yoofs I sometimes point to my medal ribbon and tell them:

"I was in Baghdad when you were in Dad's bag".

Usually shuts 'em up. :slww:

yes! i like it

Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

by ironandtri » Sat Aug 27, 2011 8:31 am

Water off a Ducks back.
Tell you what was funny though after seizing a KTM 200 off road bike off a Chav and then receiving a torrent of abuse of his Grandmother to see his face as I gave him the nod on my new KTM 990 Adventure as I passed the bus stop two days later. :slbell:

Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

by Gualsa » Tue Feb 22, 2011 1:21 pm

I usually focus on the fact that they are just kids. They know nothing of the world and its quite easy to bamboozle them. Luckily all our youfs are nice and maybe cheeky but never abusive. I am more weary when I come across drunk youfs.
I very often get chatted up by the lads and its hilarious as they just love a woman in a uniform. And they will try to embarrass me with sexual comments. However it always ends up with them getting embarrassed. I am older and wiser!!

The worst abuse I ever had was of a traveller. He had been abusive to other members of the public and when I confronted him and started checking out his van and load he went mental. I had 2 young lads actually trying to "fight my corner". He kept saying things like: "You are not a real copper, you must have had a sad childhood since you feel the need to act the big I am now", etc etc.
In the end I called my PC colleague down from the station and said to the guy: Here is a real copper for you, satisfied? -- and then he was booked for no MOT :slroll:

Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

by Macro1978 » Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:28 pm

9 times out of 10 abuse is shouted when scrote is part of a larger collection of scrotes.
Single out the mouthpiece and something along the lines of "thanks for the info" or "your blue giro is in the post" will suffice.
This is a dual purpose comeback- it will puzzle and embarrass the scrote, his mates will probably find it funny and take the michael, and it injects a little humour into your daily patrol.

Failing this, waving your hand in front of your face and berating your abuser for having bad breath usually winds them up terribly!

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That's a crap comeback - GTFO.

Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

by JEA » Wed Dec 15, 2010 10:45 am

"you're not even a proper copper"

"well you're not acting much like a proper human being, more like a strategically shaved ape"

------

I also find a "see you later" with a smile and a wink makes them think you know something they don't.

-------

I've also had one young prolific scrote cockily say he was "out earning" when I stopped him late at night with all of his mates, in a deliberate attempt to try bait me.
A quick reply of "where, station rd?" (red light district) and he turned bright red, his mates were ridiculing him. And he's never had a go since!

Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

by Catweazle » Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:23 pm

Absolutely. The one problem in our case is that, when on the High Street, we have to wear High Vis- the disadvantage of that being that the scrotes can't miss us even when we want to be discreet... unless we watch them from inside a shop, or if one of us can be on partol without High Vis...

Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

by JimmyRiddle » Tue Dec 14, 2010 8:56 pm

You're quite right. It's always good to keep them guessing and not doing everything the same way each time.

And I agree about the distance sometimes, it can be good to watch them from close enough to see what they're upto, but not so close they can shout abuse/throw stuff for example. Sometimes it's just good to annoy people. When I first started I used to think speaking to them and walking off, leaving the group where they were was good enough. Not always the case.

Sometimes I also watch them from somewhere they can't see me. This is when you see them at their most natural, and they/anyone else can't say their bad behaviour is a result of an officer being present.

Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

by Catweazle » Tue Dec 14, 2010 11:24 am

JimmyRiddle- fair point. I sometimes find that not rising to the bait winds the scrotes up far more effectively than getting abuse about which we can do nothing. Just following them can have a great effect...

On Sunday I followed a group of three (two of them known shoplifters, the third unidentified) off the High Street. They knew they were being watched, hadn't actually done anything, and kept turning round (making the odd hand gesture)- obviously concerned that they had been spotted. They were too far away for the general public to notice anything 'unusual'- so it was just 'me and them', and no-one could have said "Why do you take this abuse"? 3-0 to PCSOs on this occasion!
:slcup:

Yesterday, 2 well-known ASB youths nicely hooded up, along with a third youth too well hooded up to be identified (although 80% sure who it was). They weren't doing anything on the High Street, so not worth a stop- just as a sighting for a Crimint. I said "Hi, how are you doing, long time no see", and one of them turned around and replied, "We're not doing anything" and they just kept walking, turning round along their way to leaving the High Street somewhat more quickly than they'd planned to do. How satisfying to sense their frustration at being recognised and followed. Later the same day, another well known ASB youth, well hooded up, but instantly recognised by me, crossed the High Street on his cycle... I greeted him, he turned around a few times, obviously frustrated at being recognised, and rode off down a side street, spitting along the way. Hmmm, can't imagine why these ASB youths don't seem to like my company very much. All I wanted was to put a spanner into his 'human rights' by saying hello and having a cosy little natter... Poor scrotes, they're not having much luck with us pesky PCSOs wandering the sreets. Another day of 3-0 to PCSOs!
:slcup:

Yep, this job can be quite satisfying at times like this... the scrotes and their 'Human Rights' allies are not the happiest bunnies with us around :sljo:

Just watching and observing groups and individuals from a distance can be more effective in many cases... even more so by pretending to speak on the radio each time you get noticed.

Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

by JimmyRiddle » Sat Dec 11, 2010 4:47 pm

Fel - nail on the head there.

My Inspector often whinges about patrol locking up for me (figures) and he has nothing to say when I point out that our SNT bobbies treat the local criminals like they're decent lads so in the end, the PCSOs have to come down hard on them. Completely backwards.
Catweazle wrote:JimmyRiddle- threats of violence are a completely different kettle of fish. Kids just pointing and laughing, sarcastically muttering things like "Allright, officer?" is what I meant. If I was threatened with violence I'd take action- I'd either take their details by myself or call backup. I think we can demand their details in such circumstances- whether they want to cooperate or not.
So, you'd take details then what? Stand there as they run away? Part of the reason I take action there & then is if they're doing this to impress their friends (more often than not), then all that matters is that they humiliate a PCSO infront of everyone and get away with it. For them, getting away with it can be a simple as their mates seeing them run away laughing and jeering. They care not that they might get lifted later that evening or the next day. Are they going to miss bragging opportunities with their mates by saying "Yeah, I got nicked for that last night"? They then go even further next time and how does this look to the public? Punishment should be immediate and infront of their friends. Shouting after "You might get punished for this sometime in the future!" them as they run away is just not good enough.

This leads me on to my next point - a few weeks ago a (PCSO) colleague got the usual abuse from some scroates and a member of the public witnessed this and asked him why he just took this, it wasn't acceptable and that they should get locked up for it. If the public see us take this, then what hope do they consider they have themselves?

Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

by Catweazle » Fri Dec 10, 2010 6:01 pm

JimmyRiddle- threats of violence are a completely different kettle of fish. Kids just pointing and laughing, sarcastically muttering things like "Allright, officer?" is what I meant. If I was threatened with violence I'd take action- I'd either take their details by myself or call backup. I think we can demand their details in such circumstances- whether they want to cooperate or not.

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