Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

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typecastboy
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Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Post by typecastboy » Sun Oct 10, 2010 5:58 pm

Thought I'de start this new thread on comebacks. We all know how a well chosen comeback to some cider-swilling idiot can be priceless. Let's hear some examples of how you retaliate verbally. For those PCSOs on here who aren't good at this, it's a bit of ammo for them to store away.
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Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Post by Arthur ASCII » Sun Oct 10, 2010 10:32 pm

Speaking to lippy yoofs I sometimes point to my medal ribbon and tell them:

"I was in Baghdad when you were in Dad's bag".

Usually shuts 'em up. :slww:

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Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Post by jay1 » Mon Oct 11, 2010 4:25 pm

Arthur ASCII wrote:Speaking to lippy yoofs I sometimes point to my medal ribbon and tell them:

"I was in Baghdad when you were in Dad's bag".

Usually shuts 'em up. :slww:
Like it... :sljo:

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Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Post by noodlebaby » Mon Oct 11, 2010 5:19 pm

another one for us girls.....although thinking about it...it can work for guy's;
Lovely member of the public had called my colleague a w***** so we caught up with him to have a little word, he decided to try to catch me out by saying 'y'know what darlin' your well sexy' I quickly replied by saying 'Thank you I wish I could return the compliment', the look as his face dropped was priceless and is a quote I look forward to using again. :slwoot:

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Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Post by Felony » Tue Oct 12, 2010 1:50 am

I prefer the more subtle approach: gobby youth calls me a name...

...I gather drugs-intel on him and get his door boshed.
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Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Post by mj12cz » Thu Oct 14, 2010 12:10 pm

Arthur ASCII wrote:Speaking to lippy yoofs I sometimes point to my medal ribbon and tell them:

"I was in Baghdad when you were in Dad's bag".

Usually shuts 'em up. :slww:

LOL I just spat my tea all over the screen! :slwoot:
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Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Post by tomysandy » Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:05 am

every time i see some yob they have there hand down there pants. as we all know this is the quite a nerve rackin if they are jumpy. best way to get them to take there hands out. i no u like me but please stop playing with yourself when im talking to u.

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Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Post by Arthur ASCII » Fri Oct 15, 2010 7:26 am

tomysandy wrote:every time i see some yob they have there hand down there pants. as we all know this is the quite a nerve rackin if they are jumpy. best way to get them to take there hands out. i no u like me but please stop playing with yourself when im talking to u.
Excellent :slwoot:

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Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Post by spider86 » Sun Dec 05, 2010 2:48 pm

tomysandy wrote:every time i see some yob they have there hand down there pants. as we all know this is the quite a nerve rackin if they are jumpy. best way to get them to take there hands out. i no u like me but please stop playing with yourself when im talking to u.
I also use the line "what's wrong? lost something have you?!"
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Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Post by JimmyRiddle » Wed Dec 08, 2010 6:01 pm

PCSOs shouldn't be saying anything to the abusive public, because if they kick off, it's YOUR fault! You should just walk on by and wait for that monthly paycheck... isn't that what PCSOs are supposed to do?
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Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Post by Felony » Wed Dec 08, 2010 6:26 pm

JimmyRiddle wrote:PCSOs shouldn't be saying anything to the abusive public, because if they kick off, it's YOUR fault! You should just walk on by and wait for that monthly paycheck... isn't that what PCSOs are supposed to do?
Ah yes, that's what we must do as we are non-confrontational. I reckon we should employ the tactical use of "bush-in-a-box" - when someone gets narky, just pull the bush out of the box, wait for it to settle, then hide in it.

If in doubt, run down the street screaming, yelling "HELP! HELP!" on the radio.

Yes, this is what we should all do - we'll make our Constable colleagues proud by doing what we're supposed to do :slww:
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Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Post by Gualsa » Wed Dec 08, 2010 7:56 pm

Felony wrote: Ah yes, that's what we must do as we are non-confrontational. I reckon we should employ the tactical use of "bush-in-a-box" - when someone gets narky, just pull the bush out of the box, wait for it to settle, then hide in it.
:sljo: I gotta get me one of those!

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Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Post by JimmyRiddle » Wed Dec 08, 2010 10:49 pm

GENIUS!

I was gonna suggest a cot and and a baby suit for us to hide in or to grind the PCSO down for animal feed, but this is far better.

Another idea I have come up with is to arrange a 'community fayre day' where the PCSO sits on the bar and is plunged into the water when the target is struck. Everyone wins and the PCSO is put to good use!
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Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Post by Catweazle » Fri Dec 10, 2010 11:33 am

Don't forget, those throwing the verbal abuse are doing so at the uniform. In other words, it's not personal- and we shouldn't take it as such. Most of these kids are just weaklings who only feel 'tough' when in a group and want to show their friends how 'hard' they are. We know that they are nobodies, and they know it too. I don't rise to the bait, as I've got more important things to look out for- so in most cases I just walk on by and ignore those kids (up to a point, of course).
I may not agree with what you have to say- but I'll defend to the death (well, almost) your right to say it.

May the Reasonable Force be with you !

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Re: Comebacks after being abused by Joe Public

Post by JimmyRiddle » Fri Dec 10, 2010 2:37 pm

Catweazle wrote:Don't forget, those throwing the verbal abuse are doing so at the uniform. In other words, it's not personal- and we shouldn't take it as such. Most of these kids are just weaklings who only feel 'tough' when in a group and want to show their friends how 'hard' they are. We know that they are nobodies, and they know it too. I don't rise to the bait, as I've got more important things to look out for- so in most cases I just walk on by and ignore those kids (up to a point, of course).
I dunno. I have had more threats of being stabbed, having my family stabbed and my wife raped etc. than I can remember. I cannot reasonably say this is purely directed at the uniform.

Some PCs say "I've had worse than that in the custody suite", but as I pointed out that's being a CONSTABLE after ARREST. Of course some of the scum will go overboard, but if I'm just a PCSO, why should I accept this abuse. More to the point, if PCSOs are non-confrontational and the friendly face of policing, then why do we get this abuse?
Power of arrest for PCSOs for 'as and when' - s24a PACE & common law (i.e. BoP) using s3 CLA 1967

I'm a PCSO, I will WATCH you get your head kicked in (as per force policy)

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